Shattered dreams
by melles
Summary: Tim gets personally involved during a case
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Shattered dreams  
Author: melles76  
Pairing: none  
Spoilers: none (I guess)  
Rating: PG13  
Notes: I'm back and here comes my second story. Hope you'll like it. Greetings to speedfanatic05 and randomwriting!**

**Chapter 1**

The room was quiet. One wall was covered with blood stains and a small figure was lying motionless on the ground near the wall. Outside the city of Miami was busy as usually on this Tuesday morning.

A man appeared at the window and glanced inside. What he saw was horrible and his eyes went wide.

A few minutes later the place was filled with police men and paramedics. Horatio Caine stepped into the house and walked towards the room, but he didn't enter it. His eyes searched the crime scene and stopped at the body on the floor. The paramedics couldn't help the victim so they grabbed their kits and left.

Alexx kneeled next to the body, still shocked. She blinked a few times because her eyes were wet. As she looked up at Horatio she said quietly: "She's only a few months old." Then she turned towards the baby and slightly touched its face. "Sweetheart, you didn't deserve this."

"Do we have a timeline?" Horatio asked as he stepped into the room and kneeled besides Alexx.

"Time of death, as far as I'm concerned, was approximately 12-15 hours ago. She was beaten to death. It's a shame, Horatio."  
"I know, Alexx. I know" he replied.

"Are you alone?"

"No, Tim's outside. Got a important call from district attorney." He turned to the first officer on the scene. "Who found her?"

"The neighbour, Lieutenant. He heard the screaming and the noises last night. Was about to call us. But then everything went quiet. This morning his curiosity won and he came to take a look – and found this mess."

Indeed, the room was filthy. Papers and boxes everywhere. Old food an plates on the table. Lots of empty bottles, dirty clothes on the floor.

They were interrupted by a loud thud. Their heads turned towards the source. Tim's kit laid on the floor, he stood in the doorframe unable to do anything at all.

Horatio frowned and Alexx went up straight towards Tim. "Honey, are you okay?" She touched his arm gently, but got no response. "Tim? Can you hear me?"

Speed regained his composure and nodded slightly. He cleared his throat. "I'm fine."

"Everything alright?" Horatio looked at his friend.

"I'm fine" he said again, took the kit and started to take pictures. After working silently for a few minutes he said to Alexx: "You can take her now."

She and the officer left. Horatio wanted to say something, but was interrupted by his cell phone. "Caine." He listened and then said: "Okay. I'll meet you there. Later." He shut the phone and turned towards Tim. "Another body at the harbour. Eric's already there. Are you going to be okay?"

"No problem" Tim's answer was short. He didn't look up as he started to collect samples.

Horatio left and as he approached the officer at the front door, he said: "If anything happens, don't hesitate to give me a call. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

Two hours passed and Horatio was about to go back to the Headquarter as his cell phone went up. "Caine."

"Lieutenant, this is Officer Evans. I think you should come here quickly."

tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: I forgot to mention: "Nothing belongs to me!" (But I will put that on my list for Santa Claus! Do you hear me, Santa?) I also forgot to mention my wonderful beta-reader in Germany! A huge "THANK YOU!" to Mara Jade. Okay, with that said…here we go again.**

**Chapter 2**

Caine's Hummer pulled into the driveway only 12 minutes later and he literally ran towards the house. He stopped as he saw Officer Evans and Speed at the police car. He walked over to them. He could see the first aid kid at the ground and Speed sitting at the trunk of the car. He was holding his right hand, which was bandaged. Evans turned towards Horatio. "He should go to the hospital, but he refuses to leave."

"I take it from here, Evans. Thank you." He stood besides Speed, who was looking down the street, apparently not aware of Horatio's presence. "Speed?"

"I'm fine" he answered after several seconds not waiting for a question.

"You're telling me this the whole day. But right now I'm not buying it. So, do you care to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Speed, don't play games with me. Your hand's not nothing. It would be better to go to the hospital to have this checked out. Why don't you sit into the Hummer and I'm getting the things from out the house. After that we take a ride to the hospital. You okay with that?"

"Yeah whatever" he said in a low voice and got down from the trunk in order to sit into the Hummer instead.

"Did you see what happened?" Horatio asked Evans.

"No. He was inside all the time. Then all of a sudden he storms out, took several good hits at the front doorframe. He was out of his mind saying 'She was a baby' all over again. I tried to calm him down, that's when I called you."

Horatio nodded. "Okay. I'll take a look inside. Stay with him."

Horatio walked up the stairs to the front door. His look fell on the door frame. A bloody smear and some cracks on it told him about the force that Tim used to let his anger out. Inside he could see that Speed did a good job, as all the samples were bagged and marked. Horatio took the kit and also his cell phone to call Calleigh. "Yeah, I need you at a crime scene. Tim had a little accident and I'm going to take him to the hospital. I need you to finish. Thanks."

After that he went outside and as he approached the Hummer he said to Evans: "Calleigh Duquesne is on her way to finish the crime scene. I'll take him with me."

"Alright, Lieutenant."

The ride to the hospital was quiet. Speed just looked out of the window, refusing to talk with Horatio who was trying to figure out what had happened just before.

As they entered the emergency room, it was obvious that it could take a while – the room was filled with all kinds of people in need of a medical treatment. Horatio sighed then turned to Speed. "Are you willing to stay here? Or do I have to call an officer to watch over you?" he sounded serious.

"I can do this alone", Tim answered and went to the front desk, but quickly came back. "They are really busy. I have to fill in the forms…but…yeah, well…" he said some kind of ashamed. "I can't do it."  
So they did all the paper work and then Tim went back to the front desk. As he came back, Horatio said: "I'll have to go back. Give me a call when you're finished here, okay?"

Horatio drove back to the crime scene to meet with Calleigh. As he entered the room he was greeted by the woman. "Hi. How's Tim? What happened? Is he still at the hospital?"

He held up his hands. "Whoa. One thing at a time, Calleigh. First, hi to you, too. Second, he's alright. At least that's what I think. Third, I don't know exactly what happened. Officer Evans said Tim was working quietly but all of a sudden he stormed out of here, punched the front door frame. Fourth, yes, he's still there. They were swamped up. I had to leave him there."

Calleigh stood still for a moment, letting the information sink in. "Strange. I mean, those cases are never easy to deal with. But he never acted like this before, didn't he?"

"No. Not that I know of."

"Did he say why he reacted this way?"

"No. He refused to talk to me all the way to the hospital. I get the feeling that there's more behind this here", he said and looked around. "Found anything?"  
She frowned. "This place's a mess. Got several sets of fingerprints. Footprints of course, too. The whole house is…creepy. I found more blood stains at the baby room. Maybe the little one wasn't beaten for the first time."  
"Certainly for the last time 12 hours ago." His cell phone went up again. "Caine. Hi. Are you sure? Okay. Later", he said and hung up. "Adelle called. We have the father."

"Really? How?"

"They found him drunk a few blocks away. Blood all over him. They asked him about his address and so…we have our first suspect. How long do you need to finish?"

She looked around. "I'm almost done. I'll meet you at the lab."

"Okay."

After he had arrived there, he went looking for Adelle and the suspect. He found them together with Eric who already had taken several samples from the unkempt man. He was as filthy as the house had been. Eric walked towards him. "Hey. Any news from Tim?"

"Not yet. Do you have all you need from him?"

"Yes."

"Good. This man definitely needs a long shower and get to be sober before we start questioning him."

Adelle said: "I'll take care of that."

**tbc…**


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: Thanks for all those wonderful reviews! They are always welcome. I also like to say that my German beta-reader ("Mara Jade") finally joined this group! Yeah! Her pen name is now "Jessi84". Welcome to the world of fanfiction! Okay, that's all for now. Enjoy! Chapter 3 

Horatio walked into his office to do at least some of the paper work until the results were ready. Time went by and 1 hour later the first results was up. The man whose name was confirmed as James Connor was indeed the father of Annie. The blood on the clothes was from Annie. Horatio read the preliminary autopsy report. The little girl had been regularly beaten before. He closed his eyes and put the report away to look at the watch. Still no word from Tim. So he went on with the paper work. About two hours later he was interrupted by people running down the hall and screaming voices. Horatio quickly got up to the source of it. He was stunned. The interrogation room. He entered it only be stunned again. James Connor was protected by two officers, Adelle was shouting and another two officers held a raging Speed back.

"What's going on here!" Horatio asked.

"That man just stormed in here, beating me! Hell! Get me out of here!" James shouted and touched his bleeding lip.

"I couldn't do anything, Horatio. Tim just ran into him. I thought he was still at the hospital…" Adelle tried to explain.

"It's okay, Adelle. Get him out. I handle this" Horatio said and turned to the still furious Speed, the officers ready to take over. "You can go now."

"Are you sure, Lieutenant?"

"Yes."

The officers left.

None of the two spoke for a moment. Horatio tried to think of something to say, while Speed tried hard to ignore his boss and to gain some composure. Then after some minutes passed by and the adrenalin level had gone back to somewhat normal, Speed could feel the pain in his already injured and now plastered right hand and he was sure his right eye was injured, too, because he could feel the blood running down his cheek. One of the officers hit him hard as he tried to get him away from Connor.

"I hope you'll get a real nasty headache. At least. What the hell is going on, Speed?" Horatio asked.

"That's none of your business", Speed replied.

"In case you haven't noticed, THAT is my business right now. You probably contaminated a crime scene, threatened a suspect and you try to fool me over and over again. I don't like that. Now, I'm asking you one last time. What the hell is going on?"

"I told you…that's none…"

"Alright. Speed, you're out. I'll give Eric a call to get you home. Give me your gun and take some days off. I don't want you near this building or James Connor for next few days. Is that clear?" Horatio stepped right in front of Speed, their eyes locked.

Speed had to control his temper very hard, but then he grabbed for his gun. Unfortunately he reached with his right hand for it, so he flinched by this movement and the gun landed on the ground. Horatio took a step back and retrieved the weapon. "I don't want to do this. You know that we can talk about whatever is bugging you. It stays between us. You know you can trust me, don't you?"

"I…it's just…I can't, H. I'm sorry" Speed managed to get out and then turned to leave.  
Eric already stood outside the room, confused. "I don't get it. What happened here?"  
Speed stayed silent, he fingered for a handkerchief in his pocket to wipe away the blood.  
"Eric, get Speed out of here. We'll talk later, okay?" Horatio said.  
"Sure. Let's go."

Horatio just stood there for a while.

Alexx appeared. "Have you seen Tim? I'm worried about him. His behaviour in the autopsy room was…odd."

"He was in the autopsy room? What time?" Horatio asked.

"About 20 minutes ago. Is everything alright? You look shocked", Alexx said.

"Well, you can say that. I just threw Speed out of this building."

"You did what?"

"You mind if we take a walk?"

"Absolutely not."

Once outside they walked a few steps and then took a seat at a nearby bench.

"I'm worried about Tim, too. This case…something's not right. He's out of his mind. But he refuses to talk to me", Horatio said. "What did he say to you back then?"

"He wanted to see the report. I asked him how he got here. He answered that he took a cab since he wasn't in the mood to deal with you right now."

Horatio nodded, but stayed silent.

Alexx continued. "He read my report, then asked for DNA results. I told him that Connor was the father of Anna. He handed me papers back, then, all of a sudden, stormed out of the room. His behaviour was odd. Never took his eyes from the body. That's why I went looking for him."

Horatio nodded again. "Okay. Let's take a closer look at Mr. Connor. There must be something that is bugging Tim."

"I'm worried, Horatio. That's not our Tim we saw today."

"I know."

**tbc...**


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Happy New Year to everyone! Here we go again: Chapter 4 

As they got back, Eric went towards them. "Is it true? Speed beat the suspect?"  
"Yes" Horatio simply said.

"Jesus. I couldn't believe it."

"Any problems taking him home?"

"No. Stayed silent all way long. You should take a look at him, Alexx. One officer got him above the eye. Nasty wound. But he didn't let me put a band aid on it."

"I'll stop by. He needs to talk. Otherwise he'll explode" Alexx said. "And I don't want to see that happen."

"Believe me, none of us want to" Horatio explained. "Eric, check Connor's records. Look for something."

"What for?"

"I'm not sure. Wish I could tell you more. And Eric? This stays between us for now, okay?"

"Okay. Later", Eric said and went.

Horatio sighed and looked down at his feet.

"Hey. Don't give you a hard time on this one" Alexx tried to sound normal.

"Then why do you sound so worried, too?" Horatio had to smile.

"You got me. I know that you care about him, about all of us. But he's my boy, too" Alexx smiled back. "I'll try to talk to him."

"Thanks."

Later that day, Alexx arrived at Speed's apartment. She went to the door and listened. Everything was quiet inside. She took the door knob and turned it around. The door wasn't locked so she stepped into the room. "Tim? It's me, Alexx. You alright?" she said and walked slowly deeper into the apartment. As she passed the bathroom, she peered inside and saw some bloody handkerchiefs on the floor. She looked around and went towards the living room. He sat on the couch, his back turned towards her. A bottle of Scotch was right in front of him on the table. It was almost empty. Carefully she stepped around him.

"Honey, you look horrible. Let me get…" she said, but was interrupted by him as he refused to get touched by her.

"Leave it, Alexx. I don't need your help" his voice was hoarse. Obviously he had cried before, his eyes still red, the right one swollen from a cut above.

"I'm not leaving. You'll need stitches" she said gently. "If you don't want to talk to me or Horatio, fine. But I'll not leave until that wound is treated."

He sighed. "You know that you're relentless, don't you?"

"You know that you're stubborn, don't you?" she smiled at him. "Now, let me take a look at this, okay?"

She went to the car to get the medical kit and as she came back he followed her into the bathroom. None of them spoke while Alexx worked as carefully as she could. After she had finished Alexx said to him: "I'll get some ice" and went into the kitchen.

As she closed the refrigerator, she could hear noises from the bathroom. "Tim?" she said and entered the room. He sat on the floor right next to the toilet, pale and sweating. "I'm…I think…I'm sick" he said quietly and began to throw up. Alexx just kneeled by his side and gently rubbed his back until he stopped heaving. "Sorry" he said.

"Nothing to be sorry for, honey. Are you able to get up?"

He just nodded and took Alexx's arm to stable himself as they made their way back to the bedroom. Once there she helped him to lie down, then put off the shoes and tossed a blanket over him. "You've probably got a slight concussion. And that alcohol isn't helping either." She wiped away the sweaty pearls from his face.  
"I didn't drink any of it though I really would like to. I'm still on painkillers from the hospital" he answered slowly.  
Then she got a bottle of medicine from her kit and a bottle of water from the kitchen. "Here. That will help to calm your stomach."  
He looked at her suspiously and raised his left eyebrow.  
"Trust me." She smiled while he swallowed the pills with a drop of water. After that she gently put the ice on the band aid that covered the five stitches, soothed his curls and just sat there until he closed his eyes. Once sure he was asleep, she returned to the living room and got her cell phone out. She dialled Horatio's number.

"Caine."  
"It's me, Alexx."

"How's it going?"  
"Well, he's pretty shook up. I needed five stitches for the cut above his eye. I have managed to get him some sleeping pills."

"Did you get a chance to talk to him?"  
"No. He totally blocked. He'll need some time to recover first. What about you? Any news?"

"Yes. James Connor was sentenced for child abuse five years ago. Just got out of prison last month."

"Does he have more children?"

"He had another daughter, but she was the reason he got into prison. Beat her to death, just like Annie. But the evidence wasn't enough for murder; so he only got convicted for manslaughter. Guess who was working that case?"  
"Tim."

"Yeah. I remember that he was pissed off because he couldn't do anything."

"Seeing the same crime again must be very hard. Maybe that's why he's totally down" Alexx said. "I don't want him to be alone tonight. He got a nasty blow at the head, probably a concussion. But my kids are home alone if I stay here."

"No worry, Alexx. I'll handle that. Thank you."

"No problem."

After the call she wandered around. She was here only a few times before. The apartment was…clean and somehow…neat. Despite his way of dressing and his often crumbled sight (even at the beginning of a shift in the morning) this place was organized. There were a lot of books everywhere. Plants at the windows, a fish tank and a few pictures on one wall. She took a close look at them. Three pics were from the Christmas parties at Alexx' house, two from Columbia University, two from what was obviously his family.

One hour later she heard a soft knock at the door and she went to open it. Eric greeted and hugged her before he stepped into the apartment. "Horatio called me. How's Speed holding up?"  
"Right now he's asleep. Got him some sleeping pills", she smirked. "Boy, he's going to be very upset when he finds out that I put him under drugs."

"He'll get over it. What can I do to help him?" he asked.

"Most important thing: don't force him to talk. He's not ready yet. Just be there for him."

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

"Good night."

**tbc…**


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, here comes something new for you to read…tell me what you think about it…

Chapter 5 

The night went by with no problems, Eric watched TV, read a book and fell asleep on the couch by 11.30 p.m.

When Speed stepped into the Living room the next morning, he was little surprised to see Eric lying on the couch. But somehow he'd expected this. Alexx was always the one who cared the most, so she probably made sure he wasn't alone last night. He went for the bathroom.

Eric woke up at the sound of something falling down. He straightened and listened. He could hear Speed cursing and had to smile. Then he made his way towards the room.

Speed was still cursing as Eric entered. "Hey there. Any problems?" He could see the tooth brush down at the floor.

"You ever tried to brush your teeth with a plastered hand?" he shoots back angrily without turning around.

"No."

"Let alone the hair brush."

"Like you ever use one", Eric teased him.

"Watch your tongue. I'm not in the mood to continue this kind of conversation right now", Speed said and finally looked at Eric.

Eric winced. "Ouch. Can't say I'm pleased with what I'm seeing."

He was right. Speed looked like a walking ghost. His clothes crumbled, face pale, dark circles under his eyes, unshaven, untamed hair, his right eye turning darker and darker.

"Thank you very much" Speed replied growling.

"Okay you have two options. First, I help you clean up or second, you'll have to deal with Alexx later. And we both know that she would be more than pleased to give you a helping hand…sort of."

"Hell."

Eric just laughed.

When Alexx arrived, she could hear the TV running. She had stopped at a nearby grocery store to get some food. Now she went into the apartment, both hands loaded with goods. Eric and Speed both sat on the couch, debating over a talk show running.

"…come on, you can't be serious!" Speed said.

"Why not? It's her opinion. And her life" Eric answered.

"Good morning, boys" Alexx greeted as she entered the living room.

Both of them turned around. Apparently Eric was able to help Speed getting dressed. Now he wore sweat pants and a longsleeve t-shirt. He looked a bit better, despite his black eye, than last night since his hair was combed. The only thing that was typical Speedlike were the thick stubbles on his cheeks. Obviously Eric lost that point.

"Good morning" Eric smiled. "See, I told you Alexx would take care of the food."

"Yeah, I already got that" Speed answered.

Eric got up. "Time to go. Need to change myself."

"Don't you stay for breakfast?" Alexx asked.

"No, thanks. See you at the lab. And you", he said and turned to his friend, "behave. Don't want to hear any complains. Got that?"

"Sure."

After Eric left, Alexx went to the kitchen to prepare some food. Speed stepped next to her. "You don't have to do this."

"I know. But I want to. How's your stomach?"

"Better. Guess your pills helped…but I'll never take pills from you again."

"Why?" She tried not to smile.

"We both know that those were some sort of sleeping pills. That's why" he answered.

"But they did you good. At least you've got some rest."

**tbc…**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Both worked in silent for some time and then sat at the table. He just played with his food instead of eating it.

"You'll need to eat something, honey."

"I'm not really hungry." But he knew better than to spoil with Alexx. So he forced himself to eat a few mouthful.

"I see you got along with Eric."

"Like I had a choice", he said.

"Well…I could have given you a helping hand instead…" she smirked.

"THAT I'm sure of. Serious, Alexx. I want to thank you."

"You're welcome", she waited a few seconds not sure how to start before she asked "Are you up to tell me what happened yesterday?"

His face turned into stone as he stared at her. He stood and then left the kitchen.

Alexx went after him. "Tim! Don't do this to me. You need to talk about…"

Suddenly he turned around, his face red. "I'm sick of it! I don't need your pity…just leave me the hell alone!"

She didn't know how to react to his sudden outburst, but she wasn't willed to back up. "Don't pretend that nothing happened yesterday. I'm worried – we all are – about you. This has nothing to do with pity."

Speed just stood there, breathing hard. His head throbbed, so did his cut. He didn't want to yell at Alexx, but he couldn't stand this anymore. He swallowed as he could see tears forming in Alexx' eyes. His mind was racing.

"I don't know what this is all about, but you need to come to terms with it. Because if you don't, it'll eat you up inside" Alexx said quietly. "And you're way too special to end up broken."

"Believe me, I'm already eaten up and broken…" he stopped and looked at his feet. When his head got up again, his eyes were filled with tears too. "I can't stand it anymore. I just can't."

"Then let me help you. We're here for you" she said and stepped forward to take his left hand. "Trust me."

He had to smile. "Yeah. I did once." But then he turned serious again and took a deep breath. "I really ruined this case, didn't I?" he asked.

"Not yet. But we need to know what's going on your twisted mind."

"Who says I have a twisted mind?"

"Horatio."

"Really?"

"Yes…and Calleigh and Eric."

"And you? Do you think I have a twisted mind, too?"

"Only sometimes." She could see that he relaxed more and more while they spoke. "You have to admit that you're not a very talkative person…you know the saying 'still waters run deep'. I guess it suits you very well."

He sighed and looked at his feet again and ran his hand up and down his cheek. He didn't know how to go on.

Alexx sensed this. "Okay. I'll leave it there. For now. Tell me when you're ready." With that she went and left him standing alone in the living room.

During the investigation the team revealed some gruesome details from James Connor. He said that he got drunk that particular night and he couldn't hear his daughter crying any longer. The reason she was crying was because she was hungry. But he couldn't manage to prepare food so he placed her in the bed. The little girl cried and cried. Her mother went away short after she gave birth to her, so James was in charge ever since. He didn't want this child, neither his older daughter Kate. She had been a pain in the ass, too. But he had been living with the mother of the child back then, so he could give away the toddler any time he wanted to. He never cared about the kids and as Annie didn't stop the crying, he just got her out of the bed again and began to hit her in order to quieten her. Alcohol did its part and soon after, she was silent.

Right now Horatio and Connor's attorney sat in Horatio's office. He listened absent minded, his thoughts were reconstructing Annie's last moments. This made him very sad. Also because something about this case made Speed suffer a lot. Alexx had told him what happened this morning after trying to talk with him. Sometimes Horatio was glad of Speedle's stubbornness, but right now he was annoyed of it. 'That boy makes himself a wreck' he thought while he sat there.  
"Did you hear me? I said that we're going to sue that colleague of yours, what's his name? Speedle? He hurt my client. That's police brutality…" Connor's attorney rattled on.  
Horatio got out of this kind of daydream. "Mr. Leach, speaking of brutality…your client beat his two daughters to death…but I think the jury will understand Det. Speedle's action very well after we shown them the evidence we've found at the crime scene."  
"A crime scene that was contaminated from Mr. Speedle…"  
"I've already lectured Det. Speedle for that one. He's on absent leave right now." 'Not to mention the immense pain he's in' he wanted to say, but stayed silent. "Mr. Leach, let the evidence speak for itself. The only contamination at the crime scene is at the front doorframe. It has nothing to do with what happened inside. And about the so called "fight", Mr. Leach, your client was barley touched by Det. Speedle. We've got plenty eyewitnesses for that. Other than that, you have nothing else to use against him. I'll get his police record for you. Det. Speedle is one of best trace experts in Florida. I'm sure the jury puts more weight on Mr. Connor, since he's the one who killed his own siblings. Twice. Excuse me, I've got an investigation going on", he said as he stood and opened the door.  
"Nice speech, Lt. But we're not done. I'll make sure Mr. Speedle gets his own sentence as well."  
After he had stepped out onto the hallway, Horatio said to him and emphasized the word Mister: "And **Mr.** Leach, it's **Det.** Speedle."

**tbc…**


	7. Chapter 7

This one is a bit longer...I guess you don't mind, do you?

**Chapter 7**

Soon after, the team sat together in the break room. Nobody spoke after Horatio told them about Mr. Leach. "We need to know what drives Speed nuts. Calleigh, you'll take a second look at Connor's first case. Maybe we find our answers in there. Alexx, what do you think? Should we talk to a psychologist?"

Alexx raised the eyebrows. "Tough question. He could misjudge our intentions. He would never trust us again. We have to be very careful."

Horatio sat in his office when the telephone rang. He answered it after looking at the foreign number at the display. "Caine."  
"Hello, Mr. Caine. This is Susan Speedle speaking. I'm Tim's mother."

"Mrs. Speedle. Nice to talk to you. How are you?" He had never talked to Speed's parents before, but he instantly knew that this woman was a very warm and gentle person.

"Well, to be honest, I'm worried about Tim. That's why I'm calling" she said with a sad voice.  
"So, then let's talk about it. Why are you worried?"  
"See, my husband and I were never really close to Tim, but don't get me wrong! We care about him very much…"  
"I know. So does he…" Horatio said.  
"He calls me once in a while like three or four times a year. Today was one of those special days. He called about 30 minutes ago and he sounded very sad…and drunk. He didn't tell me where he was, but from the background noises I would say he's in a bar. I'm worried, Mr. Caine. What's going on?"

"I really don't know. Ever since we're working this case, his behaviour changed. But he refuses to talk about it. He's really stubborn, you know."  
She had to laugh. "He's Irish, what do you expect?"

"Irish? That's new…explains a lot", Horatio said. "Any chance you know his favourite hang outs?" He knew that it was useless, but he had to try anyway.  
"No. But I've got the caller ID…" She gave him the number and then fell silent. "It's a shame", she sighed.  
"What do you mean?"

"I work with the Social Service, did he mention that to you? I guess not."

"No."

"I have those really nasty kids around me all day long. I can talk with them, let them know that there's someone out there who cares about them. And yet I'm not able to reach my own son."

"I promise to look after him, Mrs. Speedle. He's not just a colleague to me, he's also one of my closest friends. As strange as it may sound, despite I know nothing about him at all."  
"He's a good boy. He went through a lot, but he always refused help from others."  
"I'll do the best I can to help him."  
"Thank you, Mr. Caine."  
He hung up and straight after went to the lab and reached for a computer. He typed in the numbers Speed's mom gave him and waited for a result. Seconds later he had an address. He headed for the exit and towards the Hummer in the parking lot.

Once he got to "Herb's bar", he entered the dark and smoky room…and went straight into a fight between some guys –and Speed.  
"…come on! What are you waiting for!" Speed shouted at two guys. Two angry looking guys. Obviously all of them were drunk, but sober enough to keep fighting.  
Horatio walked toward the group and showed his badge. "Two against one isn't a fair game guys. Party is over. Let's go home" he told them with a stern voice. Then he turned toward a startled Speed and grabbed him by the collar. "And you are coming with me, my friend. We've got some serious talk to do."  
Speed wanted to push Horatio away, but failed. "I'm not going with…" he started to reply, but before he could end, he was slammed backwards into the wall by an annoyed Horatio.

"Listen to me carefully. I'm not saying this twice. Stop playing games with me…" he told him face to face. After that he shoved Tim outside and into the car. Both men were silent as Horatio drove towards Speed's apartment.

"How did you know where I was?" Speed's voice was low and hoarse.

"Your mother called me…" Horatio answered and had to smile as he saw his face fall.  
"Damned! Caller ID?" he asked and sounded pissed.  
Horatio nodded.  
"Should have taken the cell phone…" he cursed. "I knew it was a bad idea."

"Not at all. Luckily I got there in time. Otherwise you would have ended in the hospital again" he spoke softly. "Speed, let me help you. You can't go on like that. If you continue this kind of behaviour, you'll have lots of problems."  
"Like what?"

"For instance, Connor's attorney. He's trying to kick your ass."  
"Oh, come on. You think I'm afraid of that?"

"Oh yeah. You won't risk your job because of that. You are dedicated to it. You can't live without being a CSI."  
Horatio noticed a change in Speed's eyes and decided to try something, hoping the alcohol would do its part. "I was there, too. I was on the edge of risking everything I ever worked for. After Ray's death, I didn't care for anything. Don't play the tough one. I know how it feels to lose…"

He was interrupted by Speed. "You know absolutely nothing about losing a child…" he said angrily but stopped as he noticed that he gave some of his secret away.  
'There you go…now I know what this is all about' Horatio thought. "Losing a child? Are you referring to Connor? It was you five years ago working his first case. Are you upset about the fact that he did it again?"  
Tim chose to stay silent.  
"Can't you see that hurting yourself isn't helping you? I mean both ways, physically and mentally? You can't play along. You need to do something about this."

"You know absolutely nothing. So leave me the hell alone!"  
"You're not going to get away so easily."

"So what?"  
Horatio thought hard. He missed something. Something important. "You need to do something about this. The attorney claims for a psychological statement."

"I'm not going to talk to a goddamn shrink."  
"You have to. Unless you talk to me."

"Talking doesn't bring them back" he whispered while trying hard to keep the tears back.

"No, but maybe it makes it a bit easier to handle. I've got the strong feeling that you don't talk about Annie and Kate. Am I right?"  
Speed let out a long breath. He looked through the window. "Can we drive to the beach? Don't want to go home."  
"Sure."  
Again, they drove in silence. After Horatio pulled into the parking lot at the beach, they got out and walked towards the shoreline. Speed plopped into the sand, staring at the water. Horatio sat down, too.  
"You said 'them'. Who are they?" Horatio asked gently.

Still staring at the water, Speed answered: "Lisa and Emily. I met Lisa at High School. We fell in love. Stayed together since then. She was my rock after my best friend died. He was paralysed neck down after a snow mobile accident. He was the reason I studied biology. I wanted to help him. Two years later he needed surgery, but died because of complications. I was…" he stopped to stay silent for a moment. "…a loss. She gave me confidence. If it wasn't her, I'm sure I would have done something really stupid."

"Sounds like she cared for you very much."

"Yeah…"

"But then something happened…" Horatio said.

"One day she found out that she was pregnant. For the first time in my life I was happy. I mean really happy. My life started to make sense. We got married. It was just the two of us. No family. She was into eight and a half months of pregnancy as she…they…as they…" he stopped again. "I got a call from the hospital. Lisa got into an accident…and died shortly after they arrived at the hospital. The doctors tried to save the unborn. They got her out, by doing a Ceasarian section, but she had severe head injuries…" his voice cracked while the tears started to fall down.

Horatio's eyes went wet, too as he listened to his friend.  
"…she…I was there…she…died in my arms…The nurses wanted to take her away. But I…I just held her. I don't know for how long. Then I asked for some clothes to dress her. That was the last thing I could do for her…". He held up his hands like he would cradle her. "She was so small and…all of the sudden, our dreams were shattered." Now he cried, but he didn't care. He hid these tears for so long, he couldn't do this any longer.  
Without words, Horatio got closer to him and after a short moment, Speed turned towards Horatio's shoulder and let out his feelings. All Horatio could do was to embrace him and give him some kind of reassurance that he would do everything to help him.

A few minutes later Speed cleared his throat and turned away from Horatio. His voice was quiet and hoarse. "I'm sorry…"

"No need to be sorry" Horatio said and gave him a handkerchief. He rubbed Speed's back.  
Speed relaxed more and played with the sand. "Well, then thank you."  
"For what?"  
"…for being… a friend. You all tried very hard to help me, but I was so selfish that I didn't see your intensions. Guess it has something to do with being stubborn…" he smiled a little.  
"And being Irish as well", Horatio said, raising an eyebrow.  
"Who told you…? Wait…Mom!" he said and shook his head.  
"You should talk to her as well, she was worried about you. Although she didn't mention Lisa and Emily…"  
"Because she doesn't know about the pregnancy. We didn't tell my parents. We didn't know how they would react. No matter what we wanted to keep the baby. So we wanted to tell them after the birth. That way they couldn't force Lisa into abortion."  
"Why should they want an abortion?"  
"Hell, we were only 18! We were scared to death the day we, well she, found out."

"Okay. Where did you stay?"  
"At her grandparents."  
"And what did you do after they…?"

"I ran away like I did after Brian's death. Never got back to NYC. Instead I ran into Megan while staying at the house of Brian's uncle Bob here in Miami."

"That was…10 years ago."  
"She offered me a job at the lab after Bob showed me around. He was working there as well" he smiled. "So I gave it a try and stayed here. But from time to time cases involving children show up. It makes me angry. There are people who don't care about their own kids. They don't deserve children at all…"

"Maybe you should tell your mother as well. She needs to know that she didn't anything wrong."  
"Does she think that way?"  
"She doesn't know why you refuse to go back."  
"She would be disappointed…"

"She will understand, but therefore you need to talk to her. She deserves this."  
Speed sighed again. "I…was an asshole the last few days. I'm sorry if I got you into trouble…guess I should get a lawyer because of Connor…"

"I already handled this. No need to worry about that. You've got a reprimand, but I will talk to the Chief Commissioner."

"You don't have to do this."

"But I want to."  
Speed smiled. "Alexx told me the same."

"That's because we care for our kids", Horatio smiled. "Even if they act like 5 year olds from time to time."  
"Okay, I got the hint. I'll try to behave."  
They sat in silence once more.

It was Horatio who broke the silence this time, laughing.

"What!" Speed wanted to know.

"Just imagined you – dealing with Emily's first boy friend. I can see you going through AFIS and all…"

"I'm not that bad – although I would have demanded his fingerprints first…" he smiled too but went serious again. "God, this is so unreal. We're talking about dead people as if they were still alive."  
"In some way they are. As long as they are in there…" he said and pointed to Speed's heart, "…they will always be alive."  
"Is this how you deal with Ray's death?" Speed wanted to know.  
"Yeah. Sometimes it helps to ease the pain, sometimes it makes it worse. But don't let your feelings take over control. Who knows what would have happened if you used your gun instead of your fist in the interrogation room."  
"Did you check the gun?"

"No. Why?"

"Because I removed the bullets right at the Connor house."  
"Good thinking."

"Yeah…sometimes my twisted mind comes up with something useful."

"I see Alexx told you about my theory…"  
They got up, but Speed's legs gave in. "Got you", Horatio said and grabbed Speed around the waist. "You're still drunk."

"I'm not drunk."  
"Speaking of the Irish origin."  
"Yeah, whatever."

**tbc...**


	8. Chapter 8

Here comes the next chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 8 

As Speed went back into work at Monday morning his first way was Horatio's office. He knocked.  
"Yes. Come in" he could hear.  
"Morning. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Speed asked.

Horatio looked up and then at his watch. "You're in very early. What's up?"  
Speed took the chair in front of the desk. "I…wanted to know…if…if you told the others about…what happened at the beach."

"No. I said it before. What you tell me stays between us."  
"Good. Because I want to tell them by my own."

Horatio was surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. I even called mom. We both cried for hours…but now I feel…better. Took some weight off my shoulders."  
"Glad to hear. Glad we could help you."  
"I own you one. A big one. I'll make it up to you, I promise."  
"We talk about this later. Now we've got some work to do."

A pissed Speed stormed into Horatio's office two hours later. "Why do I have to stay at the lab? I've got no new assignment today!"  
Horatio smiled. "You told me you would behave."

"I said I would try to. Now, why do you treat me like this?"  
"It's not my decision. Chief Commissioner Gordon ordered this. At least for 4 weeks."

"Four weeks! Oh, come on. This can't be true" he sighed. Then he held up his hands. "Okay. I behave. If this is my punishment, I get along with it."  
"It's better that way. Eric refuses to write all your evidence bags at the crime scene."

"And how am I supposed to do it in the lab?" he asked and help up his cast.  
"Ask one of the assistants. Be nice and maybe one of them is willing to help you."  
He grumbled. "Great."  
"That or you have your reprimand back in your record."  
"Alright. I got it. I'm in the lab of you need me" he said angry.  
As he turned to leave, Horatio called him back. "Speed?"

"What?"

"Think of it as a chance."

"A chance of what?"

"Just four words: Supervisor of the lab?" Horatio smiled.  
"I'm already second in command, so stop playing around."  
"True, but I'm sure the new technicians will be impressed by your reputation. Second in command **and** supervisor of the lab. I mean, look at me, I don't have such status at all."

First he wanted to reply something stupid, but was interrupted by his boss. "You know, you can show the new techs how to work, manage the whole equipment, stuff like that."  
Speed just nodded and walked away smiling, thinking about the new female employees. Maybe this wasn't that bad at all.

At the end of the shift, everyone met in the break room. Speed was pacing nervously from one side to the other, until Horatio stopped him. "Speed…take it easy. Relax. You don't need to push yourself into it. If you need more time…"

"Time…I took too much time carrying this with me…no, I want to do this right now."

The group settled down, not sure what to expect. He hadn't told them the reason he wanted to see them after work. He sighed and stood in front of them.

"Alright. First, I want to apologize. My behaviour the last days wasn't quite nice. I would like to thank you all. For your friendship, your loyalty."

Now they looked confused. Nobody spoke, each of them going through the last days in their mind.

Speed continued. "I owe you an explanation, so, here we go. The reason…I got mad…well, I don't know how to describe it. See, I got a girlfriend at high school and we fell in love. My best friend Brian got into a snow mobile accident and became paralysed neck down. Lisa, my girlfriend, was there for me and one day…" He told them the same story he had shared with Horatio the day before. He had thought it would be easier, but in the end, he was crying all over again. But he wasn't alone. Alexx stood up and hugged him, tears in her eyes. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I wish I could have helped you back then."

"I wasn't ready for being helped", he said softly, still hugging her.

Calleigh was next. "Tim, I have no words for such a tragedy…but I know this – whenever you need me, just give me a call, okay? Don't do this 'Rambo' thing again", she smiled and gave him a hug, too.

"I'll try. Thanks."

Eric still sat at the couch. "Do you have a picture?"

Speed was stunned about this question. "Yeah…" he searched for his wallet and got a picture out. Its colour was faded, and it looked as if it was held in his fingers many times before. "It's not a professional shot. But we didn't think that…" he said quietly, "…that something that bad would happen."

"Nobody does", Eric answered and looked at the picture. It was a simple one, taken in automatic photo machine. "She was beautiful", he stated. "And you look…somehow funny."

Tim had to smile. "I don't know what you mean."

Eric took the picture. "Hey, Cal, wanna see Speed with long hair?"

"What?"

"Yeah, he looks like a hippie", Eric laughed.

Everyone gathered around Eric to take a look at the picture and then they laughed all together. (Think of "Dazed and confused…he looked so sweet…lol)  
Speed got serious again. "Well, that's about it. I'm sorry if I got you into trouble…"  
"Trouble? You? No way" Eric said and went to him, to give the picture back. "I'm sure she was a lovely person. Maybe you can tell us more about her someday."

"Sure", was all Tim replied as he stuffed the picture back in the wallet.

"If you need company, you know my number", Eric offered. "Hang in there, buddy."

"Thanks. To you all. I owe you one", Speed said and smiled for the first time in days.

"One more thing…Tim, I saw your kitchen. Quite professional. I'm impressed. Care to explain?" Alexx said.

"Why should I explain that?"

"You never mentioned that fact before. I mean, if you don't cook, why that equipment?" she asked.

"It's not unusual, considering that I like cooking", he said.

"Well, I know you like eating…but I can't imagine you as a cook. No offence, but you don't look like…" she said.

"Okay, tell you what, I'll prove my skills to you. How 'bout a homemade dinner? As a 'thank you' gesture, so to speak?" Speed asked the group.

"Sounds like a plan to me. What should I bring?" Calleigh asked.

"Nothing. I'll do the cooking, you just come and enjoy."

"Tell us the time and we'll be there", Horatio said.

"Well, since I'm shorthanded right now, I would say we talk about the date again in 3 weeks. By then the cast should be removed." He thought for a moment. "Oh, that's great – by then I'm also allowed to work outside again. Another reason to celebrate! Although I like being 'Supervisor of the lab'."

With that the meeting was over and each of them went their way. Outside the break room, Calleigh turned towards Eric "'Supervisor of the lab'? What's that? Never heard of that."

Eric laughed. "See, H came to me, asking what he could do to calm Speed down. I mean, Tim almost drove the techs crazy with his cranky mood. So I suggested this 'Supervisor of the lab' thing."

Calleigh looked at him with an evil smile. "You are real bad, you know that?"  
"Hey, it worked. That's all that matters", Eric grinned back.  
Only Horatio and Speed remained at the break room after everyone else had left. Horatio padded him on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you. You did well."

Speed nodded. "I'm glad having you as a friend. I owe you so much, I don't know how to thank you…"

"You don't have to. That's what friends are there for. Just remember to ask your friends for help if you need it. Don't shut us out." Then Horatio went, too.

Speed was left behind.

**tbc…**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

Four weeks later, the team met at Speed's apartment. As he opened the door to let Eric, Alexx and Calleigh in, he was already busy preparing. Horatio was already there. Speed had an apron on and a towel in his left hand, as he let them into the living room. "Sit down, make yourself at home."

Eric got him a bottle of single malt whiskey, while Calleigh and Alexx went for the kitchen.

"Hey! Stay out of there!" he shouted towards them, then he turned to his co-worker. "Thanks, but you didn't have to buy this. Horatio also brought a bottle of wine."

"No worry. You don't have to drink this alone. But, if I were you, I would take care of those women", Horatio said and motioned towards the kitchen.

Speed raced into the kitchen where both women stood surprised to meet another elderly couple. "Girls, I said stay out of there…" he sighed.

"I'm disappointed, Speed. I thought you were doing this on your own, but instead you hired someone to cook…" Calleigh said.

"I can explain this…it's not what you might think…" he said numbly.

"Care to tell us who this is?" the white haired man asked.

"Tim, where are your manners? Since he forgot to introduce, welcome. My name's Susan Speedle and this is my husband Arthur. Nice to meet you", the woman said and shook Alexx and Calleigh's hand.

"…nice to meet you, too…" both replied, slightly shocked.

Arthur, who also wore an apron, stepped besides Tim and whispered: "Didn't tell them that we are here, did you?"

"No."

"But why are you in here? Please take a seat in the living room. They take care of the food", Susan smiled.

"We thought he would need a little help since his wrist was broken, he would be some kind of handicapped. So we came straight in here. Besides, I wanted to see him in action, but…" Calleigh answered.

"Hey! Don't get this wrong, ladies. I'm just observing. He did this", Arthur said and motioned towards the oven, "on his own. I'm afraid to admit, but he's just as good as I am."

"Well, in that case I'm forgiving you", Alexx said smiling and went with Susan to put the dishes on the table.

Speed looked at Calleigh. "What!"

"Move, I want to see it on my own."

He shrugged and continued his work. Calleigh watched fascinated as father and son spoke during the cooking activities. "Garlic?" Arthur asked.

"Yep. Can you hand me the parsley, too?"

"You know, last month, I went to the wine brokerage. Got some amazing bottles. One of them is a 50 year old French wine. Superb quality. Want to keep it for a special occasion."

"Stop it. You're making me thirsty."

Arthur chopped some more herbs. His movement was smooth and controlled.  
"Arthur, by the way, what are you doing for living?" Calleigh asked.

"I'm a cook. And the owner of a few restaurants. Why?" he smiled.

The great Speedle smile, she thought. "Oh, just curious. I guessed by your movements, that you have experience with sharp knifes."

"Smart woman", he said. "Alright, I'm going to meet the others. You're doing fine, son."

Horatio looked up as both came back. "So, everything's alright in the kitchen?" he asked and stood.

"Yes." She frowned. "You don't look surprised to see him. You already met?"

"Yes, this afternoon. I picked them up at the airport."

"So you knew they were coming?"

He held up his hands. "Okay, you got me. I confess. Speed asked me to do him a favour, so I found myself waiting at the airport." Then he introduced each other. "Since Speed's busy", he smiled, "Arthur, Susan that are Alexx Woods, Eric Delko, and Calleigh Dusquesne."

"He's also our supervisor", Calleigh smirked. "Just in case he didn't mention it."

They shook hands. "So, after all these years we're finally meeting", Arthur said. "It took him quite some time to give in, but in the end he agreed to this meeting."

"I can hear you!" Speed shouted and his head appeared in the doorframe. "Be careful what you say", he held up a finger.

"I'm only doing some small talk. Go and fix the dinner" Arthur grinned back.  
"Speed mentioned a younger brother before? Is he here, too?" Eric wanted to know.

"His name's Andrew. Unfortunately he's in the middle of studying physics at Columbia right now. So he can't be here tonight."

"Luckily" could be heard from the kitchen.  
"Timothy!" Arthur shot back. "Watch your tongue."

Susan sighed. "The two of them never got along. Maybe it's because they are 13 years apart. But you know one can't live without the other. They always sticked together like glue if they wanted something."

Short time later they all sat together at the table. Speed and his parents served the soup.

"Smells good", Alexx said.

"It's carrot soup, our famous family recipe", Speed said as he sat down. "Simple, but delicious. Please. Enjoy."

By the faces and their silence Speed suspected that they liked it so far.

"This is so good, I have to get one more bowl", Calleigh said.

After that, everyone got up to get the used dishes back into the kitchen.

"Hey, I'm supposed to do that!" Speed smiled.

"Relax. You already have enough to work. Besides, that way it's much faster", Horatio answered as he came back. "But I can see where you're coming from. You seem to be used to it."  
"Earned my first bike that way", he said proudly. "Tough time, but it was worth it."

"The poor boy worked for hours, his friends were enjoying their holidays, but he stayed at the restaurant", Susan told them. "I would have given him the money, but Arthur denied it."

"Well, it wasn't for bad, was it? He's still proud of his first belongings", Arthur said and opened the wine bottle from Horatio. He sniffed at the cork, then did the usual ritual for tasting the liquid. "Very good. You seem to have a good taste, Mr. Caine."

"It's Horatio and thank you", he replied.

"Alright, who's up for round 2?" Speed asked and went to serve the main course.

Again, silence came up, as they worked through the meal. It was a vegetarian lasagne with spinach, carrots, peas, cheese and a fantastic sauce. Then they tried a fishcake.  
"What's in there?" Eric asked.

"It's fish, bread paste, garlic, eggs, bacon, onions…" Speed listed the ingredients.

"It's delicious and so was the lasagne", Alexx smiled. "Who would have thought that you are a fantastic cook?"

Speed shrugged. "Yeah, well…I can't help it. But he's the one who should get the compliments" he said and looked at his father.

"Enough. Let's eat", Arthur simply stated and reached for some more lasagne.

Dessert was next and they enjoyed the Italian Panna Cotta in the living room, sitting at the couch or the armchairs while the TV ran in the background, showing a basketball game.

Calleigh slumped back into the couch after they cleaned the table. "I'm done. If I eat one more bite, I'll explode", she sighed.

"The same here", came Eric's reply. "What about you, H?"

"I could use some more of that cream", he laughed as they stared at him, not believing what they just heard. "Just kidding, guys. I'm filled up."

Alexx sat next to Arthur. "That was fantastic. Could you give me the recipe for the Panna Cotta? Is that milk in there?"

"No, just cream, vanilla and gelatine. The sauce was made of raspberries. That's all."

"Sometimes the simple recipes are the best", Susan said. "Want some coffee?"

They all agreed and ended up talking for hours about many different themes.

Later that night, long after Horatio, Calleigh, Alexx and Eric had said their goodbyes, Susan came into the kitchen, while Speed was finishing the dish washing. "Arthur, Andy and I had a long talk after you called me that day back then. I just wanted to say that we are terrible sorry for you loss." She sounded sad and then hugged her son.

"Thanks. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't had blocked you out. After all, Lisa was your daughter in law and Emily…your granddaughter…" he answered quietly. They stood in silence for a few moments.  
Susan let him go and looked at Tim. She wiped away his tears. "I only wish from the bottom of my heart that someday you'll find a woman who makes you happy again."

He only nodded.

**tbc…**


	10. Chapter 10

It's done! This is the last chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it… 

**Chapter 10**

After his parents got back home at the end of the week, some bit of routine settled back in. But Speed had one important thing to do. He knocked at Horatio's office door. "Yes?"

"Hi."  
"Speed. What can I do for you?"

He held up a sheet of paper. "Could you please sign my request for a leave of absence?"

"Leave of absence? What are you plans?" he smiled.

Speed looked a bit shy. "Well, it's not gonna be fun."

"Something private?"

"Let's call it coming to terms with the past."

Horatio nodded and sign the request. "You know, if you need someone to talk…"

"Yeah, I know. So long."

A few days later Speed entered foreign ground. He had to ask the man in charge for directions otherwise he had got lost at this huge place. After he reached the place he was looking for, he stood there helplessly. He didn't know what to do. Then he took a deep breath, reached into his pocket and retrieved a wedding ring. He looked at it and then knelt down to dig a hole in front of the tombstone. Silently he looked at the inscription. "Lisa and Emily Speedle +1990". He placed the ring into the ground and covered it up again.

Finally he found the strength to say his thoughts aloud. "Hi…I'm…so sorry that I didn't come earlier…it was just…I don't know. " He looked around. "I just…I just wanted to give you the ring back…it belongs here. I couldn't put it back on my finger again, even if I should meet another woman…" He stopped, because he could feel a hand on his shoulder. But he didn't look up.

"You don't have to justify yourself, Tim. She knows how you feel", his mother said understandingly.

They stayed a little bit longer, then he stood up and the both of them went back to path. Arthur and Andrew were already waiting. Surprisingly Arthur stepped towards Tim and hugged him tightly. "It's about time to let go. You did right", he encouraged him. Even Andy hugged his older brother although he was lost for words. "I thought long about the right words to say, but I came up with nothing. I'm sorry", he said hesitantly.

Tim looked at him. "No need to worry. The most important thing for me is to know that I'm not alone."

Back again in Miami Speed called Eric. "Hey. I was just thinking…maybe…I found an old tape in my room at home. Marked with 1988…"

Eric had to laugh. "Did you already have long hair back then?"

"I have no clue. I haven't watched it yet…I didn't want to do watch it…alone…"  
"Should I stop by?"

"But only, if you want to."  
"No problem."

So they sat together in the living room, each of them holding a beer in the hand and watching the tape. Indeed Tim and Lisa were on it. They were working on a school project. After a cut several family activities and celebrations could be seen. Another cut. Both of them during the summer vacation, enjoying themselves at a pool. Lisa smiled into the camera: "Stop it, Tim. I don't want to be filmed. Let's go swimming instead." The screen went black.

Eric looked at his friend who was surprisingly calm. "Are you okay?"

Still looking at the blank screen Tim answered: "Yes. I think I finally found my peace."

**The End**


End file.
